There’s a word I love from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: sonder — the sudden realisation that everyone you pass has a life as vivid and complex as your own, full of hopes, work, grief, routines and secret longings. The moment of sonder makes you stop. You sense the weight of other people’s stories. You are humbled. You are curious.
If you let sonder stay with you for long, it becomes a spiritual posture: a readiness to listen, a hunger to learn, a refusal to rush past the human book that sits inside every face. This posture is at the heart of reflective learning—a central practice in the course/module offered at Missional University, ELD1000 Intro to Missional Spirituality—and it is the skill the university invites you to practice as you prepare to join the missio Dei in whatever vocation you have.
Story as Our Deepest Human Currency
We are, by nature, story-making creatures. As Jonathan Gottschall shows in The Storytelling Animal, humans are shaped by story—our imagination, our ethics, our memory lean on narrative. Gottschall puts it plainly: “The human mind was shaped for story, so that it could be shaped by story.” (Gottschall, 2012, p. 7). Stories do something to us: they invite us inside another life, they shift our imagination, and they open new pathways for change.
This matters for discipleship. Jesus taught with parables because parables shape imagination; they allow listeners to see the kingdom in everyday places. He didn’t hand people abstract propositions and walk away. He told stories that people could live into. That is reflective learning made incarnational.
Parable, Presence, and Practice
Why parables? Because people remember stories. Because stories move the heart. Because story invites action rather than only assent. In the Gospels, parables do more than inform; they form. They re-arrange the way listeners perceive God, neighbour, and self. If our learning doesn’t change how we see the world, then it hasn’t truly formed us.
So ELD1000 doesn’t just fill your head with ideas. It invites experiments—small practices you can test in real life. Read a passage slowly this week (try John 4 or Luke 10), then do a simple experiment: share a meal with one person outside your usual circle. Journal what you notice. Ask: what story is this person living? What longings surface? What questions do they carry about God or meaning?
A Table, a Story, a Sacred Ordinary
In South Africa, the town of Stellenbosch is full of table-based mission: community meals, agape-style gatherings, home dinners that bring different neighbours together (see local initiatives and home-dining experiences in Kayamandi and Pniel). The precise ministry may wear many names, but the practice is common: people gather, bring what they have, and share stories over soup, bread and laughter. (Eat With Locals; Lutheran Stellenbosch community meals). (Township and Village)
Imagine that table. You sit. You listen. You tell one true story from your life. The other person tells another. The food feeds the body; the stories feed the soul. That simple practice—shared meals, mutual presence, open listening—is reflective learning in miniature. It trains you to notice what the Spirit might be doing at the edges of ordinary life.
Sonder in Practice: Learning Across Difference
Sonder pushes us to practise humility. When you meet someone of another culture, you are not a teacher arriving with tools; you are a learner arriving with questions. Over time these experiments create cultural intelligence: awareness of values, worldviews, and the subtle rhythms that shape people’s lives.
We are often blind to our own culture—David Foster Wallace’s story helps here. He tells of two young fish swimming along who are asked, “How’s the water?” and they do not even know what water is (Wallace, 2009). We live inside our cultural water and miss it. Reflective learning helps you notice the water you swim in—the assumptions, the jokes, the power structures—so you can enter others’ water with sensitivity.
Scripture, Story and Formation
Scripture models reflective learning. Think of the disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24). They clung to their story, shattered by grief. Jesus joined them, asked questions, reminded them of Scripture’s thread, and opened their eyes. They reflected, their hearts burned, and their understanding grew. Learning like this is never merely cognitive; it is embodied and communal.
ELD1000 guides students to practice spiritual disciplines (reading, silence, journaling, small experiments), then to bring these disciplines into everyday contact zones—workplaces, markets, soccer fields, classrooms—where the missio Dei is already at work. These disciplines form your character and sharpen your curiosity. Over time you become someone who sees stories, senses need, and joins God’s redemptive movement.
Practical Rhythms to Start This Week
- Sonder Minute: In the morning, choose one person you’ll “sonder” intentionally—notice their face, imagine their story, and pray one brief line for them.
- Weekly Listening Walk: Spend 20 minutes walking in a neighbourhood, noting details and one question you’d like to ask a neighbour. Journal responses.
- Meal Experiment: Invite a person who is different from you to a simple meal. Tell one true story; ask them for one. No agenda. Just presence.
- Micro-Reflection: Each Sunday evening write 200 words: Where did God show up this week? Where did I resist seeing Him?
- Parable Practice: Read a Jesus parable slowly and ask: What image in my context matches this parable? How might I retell it today?
Theological Anchor: Missio Dei and the Practice of Attentive Learning
Even though it may seem like it nowadays, reflective learning is not a self-help trick. It is a theological discipline. The missio Dei calls us to be attentive to God’s movement in the world; reflective learning trains our attention. It makes us responsible witnesses—people who do not rush to fix but to notice, pray, and join.
If you’re considering studying with Missional University, know this: the training you’ll receive is not merely academic. It is formation. It equips you to bring the gospel into your job, your friendships, your art, your classrooms—wherever God has placed you—by helping you learn deeply, practically, and humbly.
Closing Prayer
Holy One, give us the grace of sonder—an open heart that remembers every person carries a sacred story. Teach us to listen, to learn, and to join where You are already at work. Make our learning humble and our practice faithful. Let our words be life, our meals consolation, our presence blessing. Shape our imaginations with Your Story so we may be instruments of Your kingdom in every place You send us. Amen.
Selected References
- Dean, K. C. (2010). Almost Christian: What the faith of our teenagers is telling the American church. Oxford University Press.
- Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. (n.d.). Sonder.
- Eat With Locals. (n.d.). Township and village – Eat with locals: Kayamandi home dining. https://townshipandvillage.co.za/eat-with-locals/ (example of shared meals in Stellenbosch area). (Township and Village)
- Gottschall, J. (2012). The Storytelling Animal: How stories make us human. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. (ResearchGate)
- Hartzer, Eljoh. (2024). What is the Missio Dei? (Mission of God). Missional Loft: Resources for Integrating Faith, Life & Mission.
- Wallace, D. F. (2009). This is water: Some thoughts, delivered on a significant occasion, about living a compassionate life. Little, Brown and Company. (Original lecture delivered at Kenyon College, 2005). (Ben Rosenfeld – Comedian)
- Missional University. (2025). Catalogue: Global Pre-Ministry Studies.
Eljoh Hartzer is combining theology and art to nurture faith journeys across generations. She is a masters-level practical theologian with the University of Stellenbosch. She is also a writer and editor in the niche of Christianity and children’s content and she illustrates children’s books. Eljoh resides in the Swartland area in the Western Cape province of South Africa. She is a staff writer at Missional University focusing on missional theology and practice.
